O'ville Penguins

Our father (the upstanding gentleman that he is) told us a joke that he heard once:
An elderly man is sitting in a food court at the mall when I teenager walks by with a multi-coloured mohawk. There is not a lot of this in the old man's social circles and he finds it fascinating. As he continues to stare, eventually the youth turns to him and says, "Whats wrong old man? You never did anything crazy in your life?"
The gentleman doesn't miss a beat and says, "Yeah...got drunk once and fucked a peacock. Just wondering if you were my son..."

There is a guy that can sometimes be seen roaming about town, a local Orangevillian, that Maman and Daddy determined, after some discussion, must have been a product of a human and penguin interaction (it was also determined that the human involved here was our neighbour D but that is neither here nor there).

It is difficult to gauge the age of the Penguin because he travels around with his skateboard but also has a severely receding hairline. Best guess has him at early 20's which would mean D's encounter at the zoo occurred when he was in his 40's (completely reasonable since most studies place the main age group for these types of events as 33-46).

As he is a skateboarder, he also wears his pants just above his knees thereby causing him to waddle when walking down the street (and giving him his name).

HAZARDS OF SAGGY PANTS

Other consequences that are being attributed to the saggy pants:
-being a D-Bag and skateboarding across the street, against the light as soon as there is a small break in traffic (thereby leaving the girl you were with on the other side and you having to stand with your skateboard and wait for her, looking like a dick)
-the ridiculousness of retrieving your cell phone from your back pocket (which is, of course, down near your calf)...the back problems that you will have later in life from reaching down there constantly...

Now, as you know, the penguins that roam around Orangeville in the summertime are somewhat elusive and so video footage of him has been somewhat difficult to gather(as we don't carry video cameras with us and just got our nifty new phones recently). But rest assured, there will be an update to this post as soon as footage is obtained this summer :)

P.S. please note that our penguin does also walk around with his arms out and back like regular penguins do...

Les Bonhomme Souriants

So things have gone too far. I have decided to write this in the same style that my mother uses in order to prove my point :). Since I am the bigger sister I feel that it is my duty to speak up and stop the madness :) :). For those that haven't noticed, Maman tends to get a bit carried away with the smiley face emoticons :) :) :). Now I appreciate the lack of tone that goes along with typing a message and Maman's desire to add some cheerfulness to her writing but I think that there may be a point when it is considered too much :) :) :) :).
Maman is about two time zones past that point :) :) :).

I submit to you as evidence:

1) Daddy says that it has gotten to the point in his classroom where the students can tell which tests and handouts were designed by her (and then swiped by him for use in all future applicable classes). His students have begun mocking him and telling him that if he is going to use these handouts, he should put something that more suits him :(
Daddy says his students are jerks.

2) Please review our penchant for examining our own feces. Now I have long since outgrown this type of behaviour but my sister is another matter. The other day, while staring at the load she just deposited in the toilet, she proclaimed that she could see a smiley face in her poo...
Is this what we've come to? Since we can't go outside because of the weather, we are unable to look for pictures in the clouds so we use the next best thing? (And despite me being the more mature sister, I did go to verify the claims but could see nothing of the sort...she tried to convince me that a piece of corn was the nose...disturbing)

Maman, if you are reading this, I hope you can reflect on the part you have played in this whole scenario...things have gone too far :) :) :) :) :) :)