Happy Mother's Day (but from 2011)

So I was perusing some of the draft blogs that I have saved but never finished and I came across this one from May 7, 2011. So as a part of last year's Mother's Day gift, I'll promise to post one blog per week until we go back to school after the summer. (At that point, we'll see how motivated I am to continue...). Je t'aime...

To the mother of my children,
Tracy, I couldn't be more impressed with the way you have raised the girls (with some minor contributions from me). They are such wonderful, smart, nice kids and none of that would have happened if it weren't for your influence over the last 2 1/2 years. I am so glad that we didn't just stick them in a daycare where they would have been fed and supervised because you did both those things and threw in a ginormous amount of love along with it. I love the tremendous variety of activities that you expose them to and the sheer volume of skills that they have acquired in such a short time. You are truly marvelous.
From your perseverance through the nursing struggles to your will power to get up when I just couldn't stay awake (and patient) any longer. This house would fall to pieces without you. You keep everyone organized (which we know is a necessity with our crazy schedules) and we still manage to find quality time here and there to spend with each other. You amaze me :)
The girls and I love you with all our hearts and we have come to the conclusion that you are definitely the best mom in the whole world.
On vous aime :) :) :)

Dr. Moe and the Gullibility of Children

A message from Tutankhamen:


3dub: Qu'est-ce que l'ami fait? (what is he doing?)

What was I supposed to say?
"Oh, it's a really funny joke to pretend to pull someone's tooth out with pliers...while they are fully conscious..."

How do you explain the genius of The Three Stooges to a 2 year old? Especially a 2 year old girl? (I suspect most adult girls don't fully get it so what chance is there for a toddler?)

So I did the first thing I could think of that would end the conversation quickly...

3dub: Qu'est-ce que l'ami fait?
Daddy: Oh, he has a toothache and the other guy is a dentist and is helping him...
3dub stares at the picture quizzically and seems to sense that there is a disparity between what her completely honest father is telling her and what she is deducing from the photo.

So I tried to convince my daughter that Moe is a dentist, so what?

Don't judge me...

A Posting From Our Mother's Blog

This was posted on our mother's blog under the title, "Happy Father's Day, Daddy!"
We think she might love him :S

Happy Father's Day to an absolutely incredible, fantabulous, patient, kind, loving, helpful, handsome, handy, funny and fun Daddy :) :) :) :) We are very lucky girls to have you in our lives et on vous aime de tous nos coeurs :) :) xoz

You go pipes! Did I mention strong? :)

Cuddles with sweet baby Key :)

Cuddles with sweet baby M :)

Already making his little ladies giggle :)

Can you feel the love?

Daddy is an awesome reader :) :)

Seems like soooooooooooooooooooo long ago :)

Multi-tasking :)

Soooo cuddly and sooooo good at keeping us safe :)

Always fixing and making things for us :)

Funny guy!!! Do you remember this one Leigh? :) :)

Crazy guy, but we love him soooooooo much :) :)

Colons and Colons

My sister and I are working on learning English. I think we should be cut a little bit of slack since it is our second language; however, I also understand that there is only so much slack that can be cut. The English language is somewhat complicated (as is evidenced HERE).

But I think being able to distinquish the English translations of "Je suis" and "J'ai fait" is a particularly important skill. Case in point:

As part of our toilet training, we get a Smartie when we poop in the potty. It has been a remarkably successful strategy as neither of us have had an incident with the "Number 2" in many months.
(Come to think of it, I'm not so sure we even need treats for this anymore...if you inform our parents of this revelation, you will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds...pretty standard, really)

Now this practice has fostered some great pride in both of us when we go to "pinch a loaf" as we both exit the washroom announcing our deeds to the world. But the last time, in her effort to show her pride, my sister, who was intending to say, "J'ai fait un gros caca" decided that she wanted to show off her English:

"I am big caca"

Both my parents stop what they are doing. My eyes grow wide with shock.
Nobody has the heart to correct her...I mean, what do you say to somebody who is so proud of her accomplishment?:
"No you're not"?

I didn't know what to do, so I just hopped into my toy car and drove away.

English is tough...
(also can be evidence by the ridiculous punctuation in this piece using semi-colons and colons...)

The Sweetest Lullaby

There's seriously something wrong with my big sister. Everyday before nap time and before bed, we each get to choose a lullaby before going to sleep. Sometimes we hear "Twinkle Twinkle", "Berceuse en bois", "Itsy Bitsy Spider", or even the very very different "Big Fat Spider". We can choose any song we would like to hear. Well, about 4 or 5 days ago, she started with an odd choice.

Maman: What song would you like?
Me: Je t'aimerais toujours
Maman: And what song would you like?
Sis: Soccer

Well, you and I both know that "soccer" actually means that she wants Mommy to sing Poker Face by Lady Gaga:


Now, there are a few confusing issues here:

1) Where on earth did she hear this song? We don't listen to the radio and neither Mommy nor Daddy has this song anywhere in the house.

2) Why would she decide that this is a relaxing song to be used as a lullaby? I mean, who can think of sleep when Gaga is dressed like that?

And finally,
3) How is this song referred to as "Soccer"?

Now the sad part to all this is that Maman doesn't know any of the words other than:

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

This takes her all of 10 seconds to sing and then she moves on to a more appropriate lullaby. I sure hope this "Soccer" phase doesn't last long cause if I have to hear that too many more times, I'm sure gonna poke her face...

O'ville Penguins

Our father (the upstanding gentleman that he is) told us a joke that he heard once:
An elderly man is sitting in a food court at the mall when I teenager walks by with a multi-coloured mohawk. There is not a lot of this in the old man's social circles and he finds it fascinating. As he continues to stare, eventually the youth turns to him and says, "Whats wrong old man? You never did anything crazy in your life?"
The gentleman doesn't miss a beat and says, "Yeah...got drunk once and fucked a peacock. Just wondering if you were my son..."

There is a guy that can sometimes be seen roaming about town, a local Orangevillian, that Maman and Daddy determined, after some discussion, must have been a product of a human and penguin interaction (it was also determined that the human involved here was our neighbour D but that is neither here nor there).

It is difficult to gauge the age of the Penguin because he travels around with his skateboard but also has a severely receding hairline. Best guess has him at early 20's which would mean D's encounter at the zoo occurred when he was in his 40's (completely reasonable since most studies place the main age group for these types of events as 33-46).

As he is a skateboarder, he also wears his pants just above his knees thereby causing him to waddle when walking down the street (and giving him his name).

HAZARDS OF SAGGY PANTS

Other consequences that are being attributed to the saggy pants:
-being a D-Bag and skateboarding across the street, against the light as soon as there is a small break in traffic (thereby leaving the girl you were with on the other side and you having to stand with your skateboard and wait for her, looking like a dick)
-the ridiculousness of retrieving your cell phone from your back pocket (which is, of course, down near your calf)...the back problems that you will have later in life from reaching down there constantly...

Now, as you know, the penguins that roam around Orangeville in the summertime are somewhat elusive and so video footage of him has been somewhat difficult to gather(as we don't carry video cameras with us and just got our nifty new phones recently). But rest assured, there will be an update to this post as soon as footage is obtained this summer :)

P.S. please note that our penguin does also walk around with his arms out and back like regular penguins do...

Les Bonhomme Souriants

So things have gone too far. I have decided to write this in the same style that my mother uses in order to prove my point :). Since I am the bigger sister I feel that it is my duty to speak up and stop the madness :) :). For those that haven't noticed, Maman tends to get a bit carried away with the smiley face emoticons :) :) :). Now I appreciate the lack of tone that goes along with typing a message and Maman's desire to add some cheerfulness to her writing but I think that there may be a point when it is considered too much :) :) :) :).
Maman is about two time zones past that point :) :) :).

I submit to you as evidence:

1) Daddy says that it has gotten to the point in his classroom where the students can tell which tests and handouts were designed by her (and then swiped by him for use in all future applicable classes). His students have begun mocking him and telling him that if he is going to use these handouts, he should put something that more suits him :(
Daddy says his students are jerks.

2) Please review our penchant for examining our own feces. Now I have long since outgrown this type of behaviour but my sister is another matter. The other day, while staring at the load she just deposited in the toilet, she proclaimed that she could see a smiley face in her poo...
Is this what we've come to? Since we can't go outside because of the weather, we are unable to look for pictures in the clouds so we use the next best thing? (And despite me being the more mature sister, I did go to verify the claims but could see nothing of the sort...she tried to convince me that a piece of corn was the nose...disturbing)

Maman, if you are reading this, I hope you can reflect on the part you have played in this whole scenario...things have gone too far :) :) :) :) :) :)