So there I was, spending a lovely Sunday with my girls and my wonderful husband. 'The two' were taking their afternoon nap while Tut was 'indisposed' (using the facilities).
Before we continue, a bit of background information is needed. On Saturday, a squirrel got down our chimney and into the pipes of our wood stove. This is something that has happened 3 or 4 times before and usually ends the same way. Animal dies, decomposing body stinks up our basement, stove is moved, animal is removed, life goes on (for all but the unfortunate animal). This time however, my nature loving husband decided to see if the animal could be saved and so invented a contraption using a garbage can, a garbage bag and, of course, duct tape. By the time Saturday came to an end, there was no sign of our furry friend...the "Squirrel Saver" lay empty.
Sunday rolls around and, lo and behold, not only has a squirrel shown up, but the Einstein of squirrels has figured out a way through the "Squirrel Saver" (he used his claws to tear through the garbage bag...genius!). Now the son-of-a-bitch is loose in my basement. Being the cool, collected person that I am, I haul ass upstairs crying out for my husband.
Now, it is a good thing he was sitting where he was sitting since he claims to be mildly startled when I burst through the door. Of course, he completely mis-gauged the seriousness of the situation and was more concerned that I was going to "wake the girls". I had half a mind to wake them and evacuate the premises.
At this point, I could hear the monstrosity roaming around in the basement and, despite a mild case of hyperventilation, I managed to walk past the entrance to the basement stairs (to make sure that the front door was slightly ajar in case I needed to exit at great speed).
Close to tears, I had my heroic husband descend into the creatures den, open the back door and watch him scamper out into the backyard.
Still watery-eyed and breathless (despite never having actually seeing the demon-animal), I collapsed on the couch after the whole ordeal.
Thank god for heroes.
An artists rendition of the savage beast:
OMG, I can't even tell you how hard I'm laughing! Tears have formed and fallen, I'm coughing up a storm...you are WAY too funny! Perhaps I am laughing b/c I'm on the outside looking in, but damn, that was a great laugh, thanks!
ReplyDeleteI have read books featuring the squirrel pictured with this posting... from what I have read, this squirrel is a wuss who is afraid of everything with teeth and has no friends... so I think it is safe to say that he was mre afraid of you than you were of him. That said, sounds terrifying! If my wife had come to me in that situation, a qualified expert would have had to be called to the house, all while the demon-animal ravaged our home because I would not be stepping in to save the day.
ReplyDeleteOops... Michelle forgot to log-out of her account... I wrote that one...
ReplyDelete