The Neighbouriest Neighbour (Part 3)

I don't fully understand bigotry. I'm a bit young for that type of thing (although Daddy does tend to rant and rave about "jack asses" and "pompous idiots"...is that the same as bigotry?). However, we were exposed to this sort of thing at quite a young age.
The year was 2010. The day: July 5th...it was a Monday. I remember because I hate Monday's and I don't know why.
The most significant thing about that day? It was bugger hot out. So hot that everyone had their air conditioners on...all the time. And then, BAM (but you have to say it like Emeril),
all the power goes out. Now, it doesn't go out for everyone. We were okay (and our cheap-ass parents won't get AC anyways) but all of Toronto is affected...and then our man D drops by.
After some idle chit chat and comments on the heat, Maman says,
"Did you see the power outage in Toronto?"
To which my man D gives the oh-so-reasonable response,
"Yeah, those bastards can burn in the dark."

Maman is speechless for a second before making some excuse to gracefully excuse herself and go back inside. Where does one get that kind of venom in the first place? I've heard tales of people discriminating based on religion, race, sexual orientation but never based on city of inhabitance. That dude's got some crazy hate-on for Toronto for some reason..."burn in the dark", he says...

Say no to discrimination against Torontonians. They should be treated like humans, too.

Bridwell's Bad Dreams

Our parents have introduced us to something quite terror-inducing over the last couple of years. I'm sure that it was unintentional and a part of our bedtime routine but it ends up being petrifying nonetheless. We have several books about Clifford the big red dog in various situations (none of which deals with people being scared out of their mind by a dog that is larger than a house and forming a lynch mob to take care of that shit). Daddy says that the reason that nobody comes after Clifford isn't because of his size, it's because he is protected by 'that crazy smiling zombie-girl'.

Daddy says that she'll eat the face off any "bitches who wanna mess with her dog". We're not completely familiar with all of these terms at this point but I'm sure it'll all become clear in the next couple years.
It didn't really occur to us, what with our horribly zombie-sheltered lives, but perhaps Mr. Bridwell should have considered adding a bit of white to the outsides of her eyes. Perhaps then Daddy wouldn't wake up at 2am squeeling about "get that huge dog off my leg" and "oh crap, zombie-chick is comin' and that dog has mounted me again".
Is this what night terrors are made of?

Happy Mother's Day (but from 2011)

So I was perusing some of the draft blogs that I have saved but never finished and I came across this one from May 7, 2011. So as a part of last year's Mother's Day gift, I'll promise to post one blog per week until we go back to school after the summer. (At that point, we'll see how motivated I am to continue...). Je t'aime...

To the mother of my children,
Tracy, I couldn't be more impressed with the way you have raised the girls (with some minor contributions from me). They are such wonderful, smart, nice kids and none of that would have happened if it weren't for your influence over the last 2 1/2 years. I am so glad that we didn't just stick them in a daycare where they would have been fed and supervised because you did both those things and threw in a ginormous amount of love along with it. I love the tremendous variety of activities that you expose them to and the sheer volume of skills that they have acquired in such a short time. You are truly marvelous.
From your perseverance through the nursing struggles to your will power to get up when I just couldn't stay awake (and patient) any longer. This house would fall to pieces without you. You keep everyone organized (which we know is a necessity with our crazy schedules) and we still manage to find quality time here and there to spend with each other. You amaze me :)
The girls and I love you with all our hearts and we have come to the conclusion that you are definitely the best mom in the whole world.
On vous aime :) :) :)

Dr. Moe and the Gullibility of Children

A message from Tutankhamen:


3dub: Qu'est-ce que l'ami fait? (what is he doing?)

What was I supposed to say?
"Oh, it's a really funny joke to pretend to pull someone's tooth out with pliers...while they are fully conscious..."

How do you explain the genius of The Three Stooges to a 2 year old? Especially a 2 year old girl? (I suspect most adult girls don't fully get it so what chance is there for a toddler?)

So I did the first thing I could think of that would end the conversation quickly...

3dub: Qu'est-ce que l'ami fait?
Daddy: Oh, he has a toothache and the other guy is a dentist and is helping him...
3dub stares at the picture quizzically and seems to sense that there is a disparity between what her completely honest father is telling her and what she is deducing from the photo.

So I tried to convince my daughter that Moe is a dentist, so what?

Don't judge me...

A Posting From Our Mother's Blog

This was posted on our mother's blog under the title, "Happy Father's Day, Daddy!"
We think she might love him :S

Happy Father's Day to an absolutely incredible, fantabulous, patient, kind, loving, helpful, handsome, handy, funny and fun Daddy :) :) :) :) We are very lucky girls to have you in our lives et on vous aime de tous nos coeurs :) :) xoz

You go pipes! Did I mention strong? :)

Cuddles with sweet baby Key :)

Cuddles with sweet baby M :)

Already making his little ladies giggle :)

Can you feel the love?

Daddy is an awesome reader :) :)

Seems like soooooooooooooooooooo long ago :)

Multi-tasking :)

Soooo cuddly and sooooo good at keeping us safe :)

Always fixing and making things for us :)

Funny guy!!! Do you remember this one Leigh? :) :)

Crazy guy, but we love him soooooooo much :) :)

Colons and Colons

My sister and I are working on learning English. I think we should be cut a little bit of slack since it is our second language; however, I also understand that there is only so much slack that can be cut. The English language is somewhat complicated (as is evidenced HERE).

But I think being able to distinquish the English translations of "Je suis" and "J'ai fait" is a particularly important skill. Case in point:

As part of our toilet training, we get a Smartie when we poop in the potty. It has been a remarkably successful strategy as neither of us have had an incident with the "Number 2" in many months.
(Come to think of it, I'm not so sure we even need treats for this anymore...if you inform our parents of this revelation, you will be placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds...pretty standard, really)

Now this practice has fostered some great pride in both of us when we go to "pinch a loaf" as we both exit the washroom announcing our deeds to the world. But the last time, in her effort to show her pride, my sister, who was intending to say, "J'ai fait un gros caca" decided that she wanted to show off her English:

"I am big caca"

Both my parents stop what they are doing. My eyes grow wide with shock.
Nobody has the heart to correct her...I mean, what do you say to somebody who is so proud of her accomplishment?:
"No you're not"?

I didn't know what to do, so I just hopped into my toy car and drove away.

English is tough...
(also can be evidence by the ridiculous punctuation in this piece using semi-colons and colons...)

The Sweetest Lullaby

There's seriously something wrong with my big sister. Everyday before nap time and before bed, we each get to choose a lullaby before going to sleep. Sometimes we hear "Twinkle Twinkle", "Berceuse en bois", "Itsy Bitsy Spider", or even the very very different "Big Fat Spider". We can choose any song we would like to hear. Well, about 4 or 5 days ago, she started with an odd choice.

Maman: What song would you like?
Me: Je t'aimerais toujours
Maman: And what song would you like?
Sis: Soccer

Well, you and I both know that "soccer" actually means that she wants Mommy to sing Poker Face by Lady Gaga:


Now, there are a few confusing issues here:

1) Where on earth did she hear this song? We don't listen to the radio and neither Mommy nor Daddy has this song anywhere in the house.

2) Why would she decide that this is a relaxing song to be used as a lullaby? I mean, who can think of sleep when Gaga is dressed like that?

And finally,
3) How is this song referred to as "Soccer"?

Now the sad part to all this is that Maman doesn't know any of the words other than:

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)

This takes her all of 10 seconds to sing and then she moves on to a more appropriate lullaby. I sure hope this "Soccer" phase doesn't last long cause if I have to hear that too many more times, I'm sure gonna poke her face...