Dickhead

Daddy has asked our opinion and we are somewhat hesitant to give it to him. After all, the vocabulary that he used when raising this issue was what Mommy normally refers to as "sailor talk".
We understand the need for warmth. We have also heard rumors of the head losing up to 75% of one's body heat...THAT'S THREE FREAKIN' QUARTERS OF YOUR HEAT FOR GOD'S SAKE!! (that's more than 7/10 but less than 4/5 to put it in simpler terms...)
Now here's Daddy's problem when dealing with heat loss through his huge noggin...

He thinks that his head looks like a penis when he wears a toque. Okay, it's out there. He comes to us with hat after hat asking if his head looks like "the little fireman" (whatever the hell that means). We try to reassure him that everything is fine but he's just such a prissy little girl that we eventually just roll our eyes at him and give up. He usually just ends up crying himself to sleep with his penis-shaped head resting on his fancy water pillow...pansy...

Everybody with a tight toque on looks like a dickhead...get over it...conserve your warmth...avoid hypothermia at all costs (that shit is dangerous!!).