The Crappiest Blog Ever - part 2

As retribution for what my father refers to as "the beginnings of my rage", he asked my sister and I to exact some form of revenge for, what he perceives were, "unforgivable slights". In other words, he wanted mom to touch poo for not helping him when my sister crapped on him.
Now I appreciate fair play as much as the next person but intentionally causing fecal contact? That's going a bit too far in my books...my sister reads different books, however. She reads books that describe how to break through, what I thought were, impenetrable locks. My sister figured out how to remove her diaper!!!!

We are both lying down in our cribs as Mommy leaves the room. We're both a bit drowsy so we are quiet and eventually, 4dub says, "Hey, sis! Look what I did...". I crawled over to the side of my crib and what do I see? She is holding one side of her diaper open.
"HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT???", I "loud whisper".
She just gives me this coy look as if she's not going to give away her trade secrets. At this point she says, "You should see what I did in here...it's gross". And she goes to undo the other side of the diaper.
Now, I knew full well what she was talking about but I didn't want any part of it so I just lay back down and pretended to sleep while she went about her business.
Twenty minutes later, when Mommy enters the room because of the ruckus being made by my sister, her eyes nearly pop out. Mommy utters something along the lines of, "WTF???".
Then her ninth cranial nerve kicks in and Mommy is leaning over in the middle of our room making some pretty gross heaving noises. I don't know if you've ever seen someone retching while trying to clean turd off walls, bedsheets and little girls, but this is the scene that I was forced to witness that day. My 'distinguished' sister had crapped in her diaper, removed it and rolled around for a while.
Now, we have never openly discussed this incident but I firmly believe that this was done in order to gain favour with our father. I don't know if it worked or not but from that day to this, he keeps calling her "favy" and giving her extra bananas and raisins...

I think I might have to do my part and hire a monkey to fling poo at Mom one day just to balance the scales a bit...