The Main A-track-tion (part 1)

Please read with an Australian accent or have an Australian read it aloud to you.
Sample accent:

Now, as we look from the safety of our parents bedroom, we can see the train tracks out back. These tracks seem to attract a lot of the local wild life. If we just wait for a bit, once the sun has gone down, perhaps we may see one of the native Orangevillians in its natural habitat.
OOOOOh! Look at that! It's 2am and our patience has paid off. It seems the police have come to chat with one of the more rambunctious males of the group. He has tried to make a den in that abandoned railway building out back...he's even dragged a couch in there (must be a strong specimen). He seems to be resisting the officers' efforts to enter his den. Perhaps we'll get to see them have to "put him down". The officers are becoming more agitated that they can't gain entry. Now they are kicking at the door. It must be made of some kind of super strength polymer or something. As they continue to shout at the male to open the door, he seems to be able to just completely ignore them...we suspect that perhaps someone has fed this young buck something he shouldn't have ingested (alcohol or pot are our closest guesses). Oh, wait! It seems that it is now responding to the officers...

Cop: Open this door!
Male Orangevillian (MO): unidentifiable mumbling
Cop: Open this door, right now! This is the police!
MO: unidentifiable mumbling
Cop: What is your name?
MO: unidentifiable mumbling
Cop: TRAVIS! What the fuck are you doing?!!!! Open this fucking door, right now!

Now, I'm not one to jump to conclusions when it comes to the behaviours of these natives but it seems that the police are familiar with this Travis. As they take him away, we can't help but wonder when we might get to see such a creature in its natural environment again...

(Ed. Note: Travis's den burned to the ground a few weeks after our episode. It was quite a large blaze and extremely hot. We watched from our same perch in the bedroom. We suspect the grouchy neighbour of setting the blaze but this is pure speculation.)